There's a hole in my heart, that I refuse to fill.

I thought that I was in the clear, when it came to a certain subject. I was under the impression that I had made him hate me. As it turns out, I was wrong.

Thank God for Caller ID, Voicemail, and Call Block. Seriously.

You, as the reader, are probably wondering what happened. Well, it seems that a certain someone has called my home, requesting that I call him back. He said that he loves us both. While this is very touching, I do not buy it. My ex is a salesperson and has a very convincing pitch. However, I think that I have fallen for enough sales pitches, from that particular salesman, to last an entire lifetime.

I may be a newly-single mom, but I am not desperate.

Why would I ever want to open that can of worms, again?  It has taken over three months of our separation, for me to finally be healed, from the emotional pain and suffering that lasted for three years. I no longer cry. The songs that we listened to, and mutually loved, finally do not bring me to tears. I have the closure and peace that I have been craving.  Isn't that the way the universe usually works? The moment that peace is attained, is the exact moment that something happens, to disturb that peace...

I just want to be left alone, in peace, to live the life that I want to live,  and raise my daughter in a drama-free environment. Is that too much to ask?

Ave has entered the building...

I have not been writing, lately, at least not on this blog. Why, you ask? Well, I really cannot answer that, because I do not know.

Wait. No, that is not true.

Here is the real deal...

It has been a month-and-a-half, since I last posted a blog. I suppose that I scared myself out of doing it, because I violated one of my own rules. I always say: "You shouldn't have to curb honesty, for the sake of appearance." Well, I have been curbing my own honesty, for that very reason. Since I started working in my old and familiar hometown, I have been guarding what I say, post Online, write on social networking sites, etc... I guess I was actually concerned about what others saw through their own eyes.

You might be thinking: "What the hell, Ave? I thought you were supposed to be this super-woman, who does not give the slightest care about what people think? You mean to tell me, that you actually began to care about the judgments of other people?"

I guess I did.

Luckily, I came to my senses. I have decided that I am, who I thought I was!
I do not care what people think about me, and if what they think is negative, well... they can just keep on thinking it! Since when have I ever been conventional? Never. So, why did I suddenly begin to care about how I was judged, or who was judging me? I do not know. Maybe I thought that I went too far, in what I disclosed in this blog. Perhaps I did. A careful observer, would see that this newly re-released blog has undergone some major editing. I cannot take back what has already been read, but I can prevent it from being discovered by new eyes, or re-read by old ones, right?

At this point, I no longer care about that, either. Being free-spirited and carefree have always been characteristics valued by this writer. I am not saying that I am going to go all "Lady Gaga" on here, but unconventionality is an art form, in moderation.

I refuse to live in fear. I have done so for so long, that the fear-based reality, was all that I knew. After a month hiatus, I have found that self-censoring is a waste of time. Kurt Cobain once said something to the effect of: "I would rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not." I think that this quote has summarized how I feel, these days.

So, let us herald the re-emergence of the sometimes controversial and uninhibited Avenue!

This street has been a little empty, I must say.

The Deserted Street of Avenue Eighty-One

Listening to: the crickets and frogs in my backyard, with the occasional buzz, buzz of a skeeter flying near my ears.



These are the only things I liked, with the search term of: "Avenue," on Amazon. Enjoy.