Inner Peace

I have attained what I have been searching for all these years- inner peace and serenity.

I look around, and I have nothing to complain about... I know that I still have problems, that I will have to eventually work out, but these few "problems" no longer hold weight in my psyche. I have let go of all of those cares and worries. I no longer fear my child's father. I no longer fear anything. I have let it all go.

This feeling is amazing. I can only be grateful to myself, as it was I that desired this peace. It was I that created this serenity. I wished for it and I got it!

So, this leads me back to the thought that we create our own reality. When I stopped wanting to be sad, I stopped being sad. When I stopped wanting to keep to myself and be miserable, that ceased to be my reality. I have manifested my desires. My mind no longer races a mile a minute. I no longer have persistent and insufferable insomnia. I am sad, no more.

Nothing happened, to even cause this reality to be mine. I did not fill the void in my heart with a new relationship. I have just been taking care of myself and guarding my psyche from attacks by outside influences. Nothing really bothers me anymore, I just let negativity roll off of me, like beads of water. I have found the ability to relax and just let time pass, with nowhere to go, and nothing to do. They say that happiness is ever-fleeting, but that a state of joy is long-lasting. Petty mood swings do not erase, or even touch, a true state of joy. I have been feeling this joy for about a week. I want it to stay with me.

About a week ago, I did allow my psyche to be plagued with fear. I now see that I was allowing someone else to rent space in my head. Since I received no rent money, I evicted all thoughts of him from my mind. Why should he get to live in my head, isn't it crowded enough up there, to begin with?

I do not need anyone to influence the way that I feel. I need no one to fill my heart, for me. I am complete, in and of myself. I need no one, to make me whole. I was born a whole person.

Now, what am I going to do with this new found joy? Hmmm...